10-Year-Old Grows Out of Halloween Before Her Parents

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BARRHAVEN – “On real holidays you get the day off school. Halloween is stupid and I hate it,” said 10-year-old Shawna Taylor.

“My parents take Halloween too far. The worst part is they make me dress up in costumes that I don’t even like. Last year they made me dress up as Princess Leia, and my little brother had to be Han Solo. I’ve never even seen that movie. It came out 30 years before I was even born.”

Despite her parents protests, Shawna has decided that this year she wants nothing to do with Halloween festivities. “It gives me the creeps. I hate witches and zombies. Last year after Halloween I had nightmares from all the scary costumes I saw when I was trick-or-treating.”

Shawna’s father Doug, who decorates the house from top to bottom and spends several hundred dollars on costumes each year, claims he is utterly disappointment regarding his daughter’s dismissal of what he calls a “special spooky day.”

“When I was a kid I loved Halloween. I couldn’t wait to dress up as something scary and run around the neighbourhood collecting treats. I wish she could see the fun of it all instead of being such a wet blanket,” said Mr. Taylor.

Shawna was candid in her response, “Well of course I like candy–I’m ten! But why spend $90 on a dumb costume and drag me around the neighbourhood trick-or-treating when they could have spent $10 on a big bag of mixed candy for me and my brother? It makes no sense,” said the precocious fifth grader.

Shawna’s opinion of the holiday has rubbed off on her younger brother, Tommy, who now agrees that Halloween is “sucky.” The two have gone as far as dubbing the day “Lame-o-ween.”vincentmia

In light of their children’s trick-or-treating boycott, Mr. and Mrs. Taylor will leave the kids with a babysitter for the night to attend a neighbour’s costume party dressed as Vincent Vega and Mia Wallace from Pulp Fiction.

“I’m just going to watch movies and hand out candies to the other kids,” said Shawna. “If my mom and dad want to celebrate Halloween that’s fine. We all grow up at our own pace.”

Ramsgate & Hackett

One Response to “10-Year-Old Grows Out of Halloween Before Her Parents

  • Anonymous
    1 year ago

    Dressing up in costumes has nothing to do with Halloween. It is all about a carton of eggs, a few rolls of TP and Kodiaks for punting Jack O lanterns. Cmon!!

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