7 Helpful Tips for a Great Workplace Bathroom Break

Life can be hard and sometimes little tips go a long way to making it easier  – John Ramsgate

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There’s no denying that pooping on the man’s time is satisfying, but it can also be a major source of anxiety. If you follow these 7 tips I guarantee that your office poop will be great.

1. Make sure there’s enough toilet paper

This is common sense, but we’ve all been there. Always make sure. There is no graceful way out of that situation.

2. Put your employee pass in your pocket or clip it to your shirt

There’s nothing more awkward than sitting in a stall looking at the face of the person next to you while you poop.

3. Take your phone out of your pocket before you pull down your trousers

We all use our phones on the toilet (you may be pooping right now), however, we all pretend that we don’t for the sake of decorum. Most toilets have a 12” open space between stalls where you can see each others feet. If you pull down your trousers then pull out your phone your neighbour will know what you’re up to. And, if you leave your employee pass clipped to your belt it’s even worse. No one wants to be reminded that two feet away from them employee #07706 John Ramsgate is pooping while swiping right on Bumble.

4. Always take three extra safety wipes

I know it can be frustrating, I know it can be misleading, but there’s nothing worse than not having wiped well enough. I chose three because it’s a good number. Two is probably safe, but one is not enough. Take the extra 20 seconds and make sure you get it right, it’s for your own good – no one wants to go back to the bathroom simply for a re-wipe. You’re an adult, act like one.

5. Time your exit accordingly

If there is someone else in the stall next to you pay attention to them and figure out how to make a staggered exit, even if it means waiting an extra minute, it’s common courtesy.

6. Slip your jeweler into your empty back pocket while you wash your hands

Washing your hands with a ring on doesn’t feel right but taking off your ring and leaving it on the ledge of a public bathroom feels risky. Slipping it into an empty back pocket gives you the ability to wash and dry your hands with peace of mind.

7. Don’t start a conversation

Don’t be that person, wait until you exit if it’s important. If someone does start a conversation smile, nod and only answer if necessary and only in one word answers. You don’t want to come off as jerk, but you want to make it clear for future reference that
bathroom conversations aren’t your thing.

Pooping is a very private event and having to share a bathroom with dozens of other co-workers can be frustrating and awkward, however, if you poop with heightened awareness it’s better for everyone.

Remember, be the change you want to be.

Follow @johnramsgate on Twitter

John Ramsgate

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