25-year-old temp finishes three month contract without ever knowing what his job was
OTTAWA – “It didn’t hit me until the beginning of my last week, I was updating my resume and realized I...
10-Year-Old Grows Out of Halloween Before Her Parents
BARRHAVEN – “On real holidays you get the day off school. Halloween is stupid and I hate it,” said 10-year-old...
Stats Canada employee finally starts to complain about OLRT construction
OTTAWA – “I understand that we are currently undergoing a massive transition in Ottawa and that infrastructure upgrades require sacrifices...
Taxi Driver Curses Uber While Taking the Long Way to Destination
OTTAWA – “Those thieves at Uber are ripping me off,” said an Ottawa taxi driver, who wished to remain anonymous, as...
uOttawa freshman burns through OSAP in first week of school
SANDY HILL – “They put $7,842 in my account last Thursday and I had no idea what to do with...
Hintonburg Hipster Practices Pitching Tent in Living Room to Prepare for First Authentic Camping Trip
HINTONBURG – “I was tired of being a walking contradiction, it was time to take responsibility for my beard,” confessed...
Trudeau Challenges Obama to One-on-One Basketball
OTTAWA – Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has issued a challenge to President Obama to a game of one-on-one basketball upon...
Office Worker Ruins Casual Friday for Everyone
TORONTO, ON – “On Friday Travis turned up for work wearing a filthy Hawaiian shirt, wrinkled khakis, and a disgusting...
BBQ Guest Gives Host Unsolicited Grilling Advice
RIVERSIDE SOUTH, OTTAWA – “I much prefer charcoal grilling over gas,” said Guy Morris upon arriving at an after-work barbecue hosted by...
Avid Hockey Fan Becomes Basketball Expert by the Second Quarter of Raptors Playoff Game
TUNNEY'S PASTURE, OTTAWA - “Who cares about hockey when there’s no Canadian teams in the playoffs!” boasted Stats Canada employee Kevin Talbot during the half-time of the Raptors and Heat game 7 conference semi-final. “Basketball is such a great sport. I remember watching the highlights of their last game 7 in 2001 when Vince Carter missed the last shot against Philly.”
American Customs Officer Puts the Squeeze on Vegemite
VANCOUVER – Jack Beardmore found himself in a strangely Australian situation last month. The 28 year-old Aussie had picked up three...
Elderly Street Gang Reclaims Park Bench from Truant Teens
MOONEY’S BAY, OTTAWA – “That park bench is our turf. Capice?” said John Carlo, leader of a recently-formed gang of senior...
Job Candidate Fails Skype Interview for Not Wearing Pants
TORONTO – “We’re looking for someone who crosses their t’s and dots their i’s. A man who does not wear...
29-Year-Old Man Attempts to Pay for Date With Presto Card
Kelly had been on a string of bad dates over the last month and this one was actually going well until it hit him that he was trying to pay the bill with his bus pass.
Hangry Woman Apologizes to Family and Colleagues after Eating
TORONTO – “I really lost my cool with everyone. That became clear to me after eating,” said Trish Donnelly, full-time...
Painting Pub Night Artwork Sells for $65,000
OTTAWA – “I was thrilled, it was like winning the lottery,” said Jessica Tayne, on the recent sale of her...
Bros & Bows: Archery Games Review
My brothers and I spent summers up at the cottage making our own bows and arrows, firing them off at...
Q & A with Graven
Delicate picking gives way to powerful strumming. Melodic whispers ascend into a booming chorus. Songs about lasting friendships end, memories...
Trudeau Extends Visit in D.C. for Slumber Party With Obama
WASHINGTON, D.C. – After a three-day visit to the American capital that culminated in a lavish state dinner, Canadian Prime...
Amateur Weightlifter Neglects His Upper Body
MISSISSAUGA, ON – “When dudes ask me if I even lift, I just roll up my pant leg. They see...
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