Trudeau Challenges Obama to One-on-One Basketball


OTTAWA – Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has issued a challenge to President Obama to a game of one-on-one basketball upon completion of all official business of the North American Leaders’ Summit in Ottawa today.  Citing a well-known Canadian Heritage Moment, Trudeau reminded the President of the United States that despite American basketball prowess the sport will forever be a Canadian innovation.

The game is to be officiated by Governor General David Johnston and will follow standard one-on-one street ball rules.  The location of the game remains undisclosed, but sources close to the Prime Minister claim he prefers outdoor courts with chain net hoops.

Trudeau has gone to great lengths to create the perfect atmosphere for the friendly competition and has created a soundtrack for the occasion entitled “Prime Time Slam Jamz ’16.” The playlist is expected to be brimming with songs by some of Obama’s favourite artists such as Jay Z and Kendrick Lamar, but will also feature prominent Canadian musicians such as The Weeknd, Belly and Drake, in adherence to Canadian content laws.

During the game, Sophie Grégoire Trudeau and Michelle Obama will hold an informal meeting to discuss the possibility of allowing one of Michelle’s 24 staff members to work on sabbatical with Mrs. Trudeau in Ottawa to assist with the growing demands of her unofficial role. It is rumoured that at some point the two may FaceTime Hillary Clinton to chat.

After the much-anticipated basketball game the winner will be awarded a trophy and both participants will receive commemorative t-shirts depicting a bald eagle taking a three-pointer shot against a polar bear. Trudeau then plans on inviting the Obamas and the Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto and family to a barbecue on the grounds of 24 Sussex Drive, with staff serving grilled salmon and bison steak fajitas.

In an effort to recreate the now infamous slumber party in Washington DC, Trudeau intends on extending an invitation to President Obama and President Peña Nieto for a camping sleepover in the backyard of Rideau Hall. Pending permission from their wives, the North American leaders will enjoy an outdoor screening of the 1986 comedy “¡Three Amigos! while cooking hotdogs and marshmallows over a campfire, before retiring to a three-man tent that once belonged to the late Pierre Elliot Trudeau.

Ramsgate & Hackett

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